its raining!

i <3 the rain. =) people are abandoning my blog! waah... people tag!!! please... -puppy dog face... eh, ok, -pukes, i cant pout. hahaha.

i have nothing to blog about really. well, i had, but decided not to. anyway i already forgot about it. hmmmmmm... must be the mood swings again. (its not pms! oh dont give me that look!! its not!!! oh wait, it could be.. um... ok, forget it... -.-")

hmm. lets talk about the rain! okay... its so... okay, i am so wasting my life away. -_-... what the hell am i doing here. on my computer in my room at 848 during the school holidays. (ok dont tell me to do my homework. i did 6 qns of my english homework & i almost died of boredom... haish... ) i should be climbing mt everest! i should be setting records or be the president of lalaland!! ok, maybe not. but the point is, i dont know ok. i dont know what i want in life, & i dont know what i want to be in the future. so what if i dont wanna be a doctor or a lawyer or a whatever. so what if i have absolutely no idea what i want to acheieve. & besides, all this to me, is not a "want", its a matter of "can" or ultimately "cant". dont you get it? okay i dont exactly expect a nod or a answer even. because it doesnt matter. to a thirteen year old girl, what i want, oh God, what i want; i dont know. i live everyday of my life & i see all those amazing people doing extraordinary stuff on the television. but im not them & im not amazing & i cant do extraordinary things. but i watch my mum over the phone with my aunt. they laugh & smile. & i've watched them over the phone in tears. or at least trying to stop them. i know that life doesnt always go the way we want it to. & we cant change the fact. this post isnt about me, or about what i want in life. im just one person, & who the heck am i in this world? i dont need an answer. i dont want it. what difference will it make. really. "in this world, there are people who will always be better & worse than you." okay, that line you've probably heard a thousand million times before & dont give a damn about it. well i dont either. whats the point in saying that to yourself or to someone else? it wont make you feel better will it? sometimes people just dont getit huh.